Hurt
by MrsMaxCarter2
Summary: Max and Millie are madly in love with each other and have brought a home together. One night when Max is working someone breaks into the house and they hurt Millie. Max and Millie have to try to come to terms with what happened as a couple. There are ups and downs on their journey, hopefully they will make it through. M Rated for safety
1. Chapter 1

**Millie**  
Today had been one of them days where you just wanna go and have a drink. Today was tough at work but it was the days that made the job worthwhile for me. We had a dad that wanted access to his kids but his ex was being difficult about visitation so he went round there and kicked up a huge fuss, the kids wanted to see their dad but the mother was filling the kids heads with rubbish stories about him. We've helped so that the dad seeks legal advice so that he can finally get the access he wants to his kids. The best thing about that is the kids don't blame their dad for not visiting as they understand what their mother is like and they know that she's made it difficult. He had no criminal record, he wasn't on drugs, he wasn't a drinker, he had a job and a stable home… there was no reason he couldn't see them apart from the ex denying access because they had a bad break up. It's was horrible that women like that could just stop their kids seeing their dad because she doesn't like him, she liked him well enough to lay down and make the kids with him. Why was he suddenly such a terrible person and not allowed to see the kids?

Situations like this make me think about my relationship with Max and yes I mean Max Carter. We've been in a relationship for over a year now. If me and Max were to ever have children and then split up I couldn't stop them seeing him unless he did something terrible. I know Max would never do something that bad anyway. I wouldn't stop the children seeing Max just because we had broken up, that wouldn't be fair. The way I look at it is, if they go to their dads then I would get a break and can do what it was I wanted and needed to do and the children can bond with their dad. Everyone wins in that situation but then again I was a normal person and I didn't need the likes of Jeremy Kyle helping me deal with my life.

Sadly Max was working late tonight so I probably wouldn't see him until tomorrow, to help me take my mind off the day. The girls have asked me to go for a drink with them and I agreed but mainly so I wouldn't have to sit in that house all on my own… I love the house me and Max brought together a couple months ago but I hate staying in there all on my own. It's an old house that makes lots of creaking noises and at night it sometimes sounds like there is someone walking around in the loft or downstairs even though there isn't. Max knows I hate all the noises so we're going to get some builders in to look at the structures and see what they can do about it.

I closed my locker and looked at myself in the mirror in the locker room just to make sure I looked OK to go the pub. I'm not trying to impress anyone but you want to look half decent when you go out for a drink, even if I am just with the girls. I smiled to myself and grabbed my bag before opening the door. I jumped when I saw Max standing in front of me with his arm raised like he was going to knock "You scared me" I told him.

"Sorry" He replied and we shared a quick peck "I'm also sorry that I'm working late tonight, it's just to finish up on paperwork so hopefully I won't be too long" He told me "Are you sure you're going to be OK on your own in the house until I get home?" He asked me.

"Actually… I'm going for a couple of drinks with the girls" I admitted.

"OK, do you need money for a cab or anything?" He questioned.

"No I'm OK" I replied.

Max walked me to reception where the girls were waiting for me "I will see you in a few hours" He said and we kissed again "Look after her" He said to the other girls and I just rolled my eyes at him.

"Don't worry Max, we'll take good care of her" Mel said with a smirk on her face as she linked arms with me and we walked out of the station towards the pub.

"That's sweet that he cares about you" Sally said to me as we walked into the pub.

We found a table and Mel said she was going to get the first round in. Me and Sally sat at the table together and she kept commenting on how cute me and Max were together "He's a good guy" I told her as Mel came back and handed everyone their drinks "I used to think he was uptight, mean and married to job but I've seen another side of him… and I like it" I told them.

"So really all he needed was a good seeing to" Mel said and we all started laughing "C'mon Millie, tell us something we don't know about Max" She challenged.

"He talks in his sleep" I told them.

"What does he say?" Sally questioned.

"What doesn't he say? The first time I heard him say 'I love you Millie' was when he was passed out" I said and we all giggled again "The next morning he didn't remember it and I sounded like a fool bringing it up to him" I added.

"But he obviously does love you" Mel said.

"I know he does… now" I replied.

After a while we got just sitting there so we decided to go and play pool. The loser had to take a shot. I was rubbish and pool and knew I was going to lose every game and end up really drunk. I leaned down to take my shoot when a hand landed on my bottom, I turned around and saw someone I'm pretty sure I've arrested standing behind me smiling "Alright Darlin'" He said.

"I'm spoken for" I told him.

"I don't see a ring on your finger" He replied and stood close to me so I couldn't move away "And until I do, you're fair game sweetheart" He said to me.

"I don't think so sunshine" Mel jumped in "Don't make me get my warrant card out" She warned him.

"You're old bill?" He questioned. All three of us got out our warrant cards out at the same time and he sighed in annoyance "You're too hot to be old bill, why can't you be like a barmaid or something?" He questioned.

"What did you say your name was? I'm pretty sure I've seen your face on a poster at the station" I said to him and he held his hands up in surrender and walked away. Me and the girls giggled and carried on the game.

What a shock! I lost. I had to do a shot of Mel and Sally's choice, I have no idea what it was but it was the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted in my entire life. Mel and Sally played and Sally lost so me and Mel got to chose a shot for her, we went with black Sambuca knowing that Sally hates it. Sally did the shot and I thought she was going to be sick. The last game was between me and Sally, the two losers. Whoever lost out of us too had to do 3 shots of jaga.

The game was close but I lost. Mel and Sally presented me with the shots and after taking a deep breath and shaking my head I did the three shots and nearly went to the bathroom to be sick. What I needed was some fresh air, it was starting to feel a little warmer in here then it really was. I went out the back to the smokers area to see it was deserted, I took a seat on one of the benches and took a few deep breaths.

I heard someone coming towards me and looked up to see the guy that had touched me up earlier "Let's see how tough you are without your friends now… copper" He said and stroked his finger down my cheek.

"Let go of me before I arrest you" I told him.

"For what?" He questioned leaning down so his face was an inch from mine.

"Sexual harassment" I replied.

"Millie?" I looked behind the gangster wanna be and saw the two girls staring at me "You ready to go?" They asked and I nodded, I stood up from the bench and walked around the guy before walking back inside "You OK?" Mel asked me.

"I'm fine" I replied.

The three of us walked out to the front of the pub and the other two wrapped their coats around them "You need to call a cab?" Sally asked.

"No it's OK. I only live a five minutes away" I told them.

"Millie's it's late and we're in London, it's not safe to walk home alone and if you get so much as a stubbed toe Max is going to kill us" Mel said.

"Honestly it's fine" I replied as a taxi pulled up.

I argued with the girls for another minute or two about walking home. They finally got in their taxi and let me walk home, honestly I needed the walk home. I don't think sitting in a car going over speed bumps was going to make me feel much better. I just wanted to get home, get into my pj's, have a cuddle with Max and go to sleep.

Finally I made it home and I made sure to lock the door behind me. I walked straight upstairs to change into my pj's and just as I was about to get into bed I heard the doorbell go. Did Max forget his house key again? You would think he would have his car key and house key on the same key ring but no. Max likes to make life difficult for himself. I groaned and got back out of bed and climbed down the stairs "Did you forget your key again?" I questioned as I opened the front door.

It wasn't Max. I was shoved back into the house and all I could see was someone in a hoodie, I'm guessing a male. I kicked him in the leg then headed for the stairs so that I could get to my phone and call Max. As I reached the third step he grabbed my leg and pulled me back, I whacked my face on the stairs and then I was laying on the hallway floor. He sat on top of me so that I couldn't move and then he pinned my arms down to the floor above my head "You gonna get your warrant card out?" He asked me.

I recognized the voice, it was the guy from the pub "Get off me!" I shouted at him and tried to get out of his grasp but he was too strong for me.

"I don't think so sweetheart" He replied. He let go of my hands and started tugging at my jeans to get them off me, I managed to scratch him and shove him but it was useless, he managed to undo the string to my pajama bottoms. I started screaming hoping one of the neighbors would hear me and call the police "No one is coming to help you" He told me.

He started to pull his tracksuit bottoms down and I tried fighting against him more then I have ever fought before. I don't know how he became so strong, maybe it was me being weak after drinking all that alcohol and taking all them shots tonight. Without a word of warning he pushed into me hard and I cried out "Stop it!" I shouted at him as he started moving in and out of me "Please" I pleaded with him as I started to cry "Just stop it" I said to him.

When he was finished with me he stood up and looked down at me with disgust in his eyes "You think you saw my face on a poster?" He questioned "Now you're going to see my face every time you close your eyes, every time you man touches you you're going to think of me" He warned.

I laid there in shock not being able to move, I can't believe what had just happened. He looked down at me and laughed before taking a photo of me on his phone and then walking out of the house. He even shut the door behind him. I just laid there getting my breath back and calming myself down thinking about what had just happened. I can't believe it.

Eventually I was able to move so I got up off the floor and run up the stairs, forgetting about my jeans laying on the floor. I ran into my bedroom and picked up the phone and called Max "I know I'm late, I promise I'll be home in the next hour" He told me as he picked up.

"Max I need you to come home" I said to him as I started crying again.

"What's the matter?" He asked me suddenly very concerned.

"Please just come home… now…" I pleaded with him.

"OK I'm on my way now" He replied.


	2. Chapter 2

**Millie**  
As soon as I hung up the phone to Max I wanted to have a shower but I know they will need forensics from me so I can't. I felt disgusting and grubby, all I wanted to do was have a shower! I grabbed another pair of underwear and some more pj bottoms to cover myself up slightly. I wasn't really sure what to do now, I looked around my room and saw everything was as I left it, as if nothing happened and everything was still the same but it wasn't. Everything was going to change now, I know it. More tears gathered in my eyes and fell down my cheeks as I thought more and more about it, I didn't want to think about it anymore but I didn't want to go downstairs and walk on the spot that it happened. I just wanted to stay in this room for the rest of my life with Max protecting me and I don't care how stupid that sounds.

I heard the front door open and then slam closed "Millie?!" Max called out panicked and I tried to call to him that I was in the bedroom but I couldn't find my voice "Millie where are you?!" He called out and again I couldn't find me voice. I heard heave footsteps on the stairs and then Max was in the doorway of the bedroom. As soon as our eyes locked on each other I rushed over to him and flew into him, I wrapped my arms around him and held him as tight as I could to me "What happened?" He asked me. I pulled away from the hug and started crying even more "I saw you pjs in the hallway, what's going on?" He asked me.

"The door knocked" I started "I thought you had forgot your key so I opened the door. This guy barged in" I said "I kicked him and tried getting upstairs but he grabbed my leg and pulled me back, he sat on top of me" I explained and I tried to form the words to tell him what happened next but I couldn't. I didn't know how to say it "He… He" I tried but cried more "He got my bottoms off and I tried fighting him off, I really did" I told him.

"Millie you need to calm down and explain to me everything that happened from when you left work" He said to me.

I told him everything. I told him about going to the pub, playing pool, the guy hitting on me and then eventually me coming home. I only struggled with the story when it came to the… attack. I explained to Max that I tried to fight him off but he was stronger then me and I had been drinking so I wasn't as focused as I normally was. As I explained the story to him he hugged me and he told me that everything was going to be ok but I knew that it wasn't! Nothing about this is going to be ok and it will never be ok with me again. I have seen relationships break up over things like this and I don't want that to happen. I don't want Max to think I'm damaged goods or something.

The only thing he was angry at was the fact that I walked home by myself and I made it easy to be target to be followed. I know it was stupid of me to walk home but I needed the fresh air and the walk made me feel better then I know getting in a car would. Max said we would be having words about it when this was all sorted, he spoke about it like it was something to be all that worried about. He told me he was going to ring Jo to come and take a statement and get the investigation rolling, he left the room and I sat down on the bed. I grabbed Max's pillow and hugged it.

Max came back a few moments later and just stood in the doorway "Have you had a shower or bath?" He asked me and I shook my head "Ok, we need to go to the hospital so they can look over you injuries and do swabs if you're ok with that" He said and I nodded. I didn't really feel like talking right now "I have no idea how you must be feeling Millie and I'm really sorry that I wasn't here but I promise you that I am going to do everything in my power to see this scumbag get sent down" He told me.

When the two of us got to the hospital there was already a nurse waiting for us, she lead me off to a private room so herself and another nurse could do what needed to be done. Max said he was going to call Jo and tell her to not come to the hospital for a little while whilst the nurses sort me out. When I saw Max walk out of the door that said exit I wanted to call him and tell him to come back, I didn't want to do this alone but then I started thinking. Max probably doesn't want to see the marks left on me by another man, he probably wants to get as far away from me as possible and I don't blame him.

The nurses took pictures of my injuries, they cleaned up some of the open wounds. I hadn't realised there was any to be honest. They assessed me and took a DNA swab that the attacker would have left behind as he didn't use a condom. The nurses also advised me that I needed to come back in a week or two when I felt up to it so that I could get tested for sexually transmitted infections. They also gave me the morning after pill as I wasn't on any form of contraception, I know I should be as me and Max were in a relationship and having sex frequently and we didn't want to have a baby at the minute but I never got the time to sort it out. I asked the nurses about methods of contraception and they gave me some leaflets to look over and I could choose one that was best for me.

Just as the nurses were leaving the door knocked and Jo appeared in the doorway, she gave me a comforting smile "Can I come in?" She asked me.

"Sure" I replied softly.

Jo came in the room closing the door behind her and took a seat in the chair next to my hospital bed "I won't ask how you're feeling, I know it's a silly question" She said.

"Thanks" I replied.

"Max is out there doing the nurses head in" She told me "He blames himself for what happened to you. Me and Max were having a conversation just yesterday about all the long hours he works, he told me he felt guilty leaving you at home on your own when he knows you don't like the house" She explained to me.

"I just… after what happened… I don't know how to even look at him" I admitted.

"What do you mean?" She asked me.

"When they nurses were leading me away I wanted to call him back to stay with me but… would he really want to see the marks another man left on me? Does he really want to see what another man did to me? A part of me feels like I've cheated on Max or done something wrong. I know that I haven't but it's a feeling that won't go away" I explained to her.

"Oh sweetheart, you don't need to feel like that. I know Max doesn't feel like that. He's out there right now itching to come in here and see you, he needs to see for himself that you're ok" She told me "Which is why we're going to get this statement done and dusted, to make this easier for you is it ok if I record your statement?" She asked and I nodded.

It took just over half an hour to give Jo my full detailed account of what happened once I left the station and I was glad she recorded it. I really don't think I could repeat that story to more people, Jo wanted to call a break a few times because I kept crying. I'm a police officer for crying out loud, I shouldn't be crying… I should be strong and fierce, I shouldn't let anyone make me feel this scared and vulnerable. I hated this feeling but now I understand how victims feel when they come to us about their own sexual assault. I can now tell them people that I fully understand.

A few minutes after Jo left there was a slight tap on the door, I told whoever it was to come in. The door opened and Max stood there looking tired and worn down, not the normal Max everyone was so used to seeing. He came in closing the door behind him and took the seat that Jo had previously occupied "Jo told me how you was feeling" He stated.

"Did she?" I questioned.

"Do you really think that you've cheated on me? That you've done something wrong?" He questioned.

"I don't expect you to understand this Max and that's ok. I feel the way I do and there is nothing anyone can do about it. I know in my heart I didn't cheat on you and I know I didn't do anything wrong but I can't help it" I told him "Sexual intercourse took place in the house we share together with me and another man, whether I was willing or not isn't the case. It still happened and we can't do anything about it" I explained to him.

Max's hand grabbed me and he looked down. He was looking at the marks on my wrist left by my attacker when he was holding me down, he lifted his fingers and started tracing the marks and I instantly snatched my hand away from him "Sorry" He said softly and his gaze returned to me.

"They're just reminders, I don't want you looking or touching them. They were left there by him, I want to forget about them and wait for them to disappear" I told him.

"I didn't mean to upset you" He said.

"How are you so calm?" I questioned.

"If I don't sit here calmly with you then I will be out there looking for the little bastard and I would be doing things to him that would get me arrested and thrown in prison for life. Trust me Millie, I am anything but calm right now" He told me.

"I don't know what to do" I admitted.

"You don't have to do anything, leave all the hard work to us" He replied.

"No I mean… I don't know what to do with myself. I am forever going to have this label over my head, do I really want to go back to Sun Hill to face the pity looks and people apologizing. Always a reminder of what happened? Do I want to lock myself in my bedroom for the rest of my life with you standing guard at the door so no one can get in? Do I want to find another career?" I questioned "I don't know what to do now" I repeated.

"You do what you want to do. Whatever choice you decide Millie I will stand by you one hundred percent and I will do whatever it is you need me to do" He told me.

"I want you to sell the house. I don't wanna ever step foot in there again" I said.

"I'll call the estate agent when they open" He replied.

"Really?" I questioned.

"Of course, if you want to sell the house then we will" He told me.

"But you love that house" I stated.

"I love you more" He replied.

Eventually I was allowed to go home but I didn't want to go home and Max knew that. He booked us into a hotel near work for a couple of weeks until he can find somewhere else for us to stay, I didn't want to live in a hotel but I didn't want to be in that house ever again. I felt bad that Max had to stay here with me, I feel like I'm making him suffer and be miserable like me. If he wanted he could go home and sleep in his own bed but he's too good of a man to leave me in the hotel on my own. He had called Jo to sort some clothes out for us, I wasn't sure how I felt about someone going through mine and Max's underwear but I didn't really have a choice.

We finally arrived at the hotel and our things were already waiting for us, Jo had really thought of everything. The room wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be and the view wasn't that bad. I sat down on the bad as Max unpacked the suitcases and I had to admit the bed was comfortable, the mattress was so soft and bouncy. Max would hate it. He preferred mattress' that were a little harder and not as bouncy, I know he would have chosen this hotel because they have beds that I would like "You should get some sleep" He told me.

"I want a shower" I replied.

"Ok. You have a shower and I'll finish unpacking everything" He said to me.

I didn't stay in the shower long, just washed my hair and body and I was out in 7 minutes. I think it was my quickest shower ever. I opened the door to the bedroom with the towel wrapped around me and Max turned around "I need some pjs" I told him.

"Sure" He replied. He went over to the drawers and got my out some pjs "Do you want a bra and panties?" He asked me and I nodded. He opened another drawer and got me out a plain white bra and just some plain underwear. He handed them to me and I went back into the bathroom, closing the door behind me to get changed.

When I came out of the bathroom I saw Max standing on the balcony of the room. I was going to go speak to him but I think the both of us want some space so I quickly dried my hair and climbed into bed. I didn't want Max thinking I was staring at him so I put my back to the balcony and closed my eyes, it didn't take long for the sleep to overtake me and I feel into a deep slumber.


	3. Chapter 3

**Millie**  
I was woken by the light shining through the windows, Max had obviously forgotten to close the curtains. I turned to face Max in bed but was shocked to see his half of the bed was empty. It looked like he hadn't slept in the bed and that's when I heard him snore, I looked to the other side of the room and saw Max fast asleep on the chair at the desk. I was a wooden chair that looked very uncomfortable and I felt bad, was it my fault he didn't sleep in the bed with me? Did he not want to be near me at the moment? I shook my head and climbed out of bed before walking over to the window and closing the curtains. I was about to get back into bed when I decided to wake Max up and make him get into that bed and out of the uncomfortable chair "Max?" I questioned and shook his shoulder lightly.

He started awake and blinked a few times "Millie, are you ok?" He asked me.

"I'm fine. I was just going to tell you to come to bed, that chair doesn't look too comfy" I said to him.

"No I'm fine here thanks, go back to bed" He told me. I didn't want to push him so I just nodded and climbed back into bed with my back to him once again. I closed my eyes to go back to sleep but as I did tears started to form, I tried to keep them at bay but I couldn't help it. A few tears escaped and before I could stop it a sob escaped from my lips "Millie, what's the matter?" Max questioned.

The bed dipped beside me and I felt Max's hand land on my arm "You don't want to be near me anymore, do you?" I questioned and turned to face him in the bed.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"You" I replied "You would rather sleep in that chair then share a bed with me, my head told me you that this would happen but I didn't in my heart believe that it would" I replied to him. He opened his mouth to speak but I got there first "I understand that I'm damaged goods now and if you can't be comfortable around me because of this then just say it now… please" I pleaded with him.

"Oh Millie" He said "That is not it at all. The reason I slept on the chair last night was because I honestly didn't think you would want me near you, I thought you would want some space of your own to come to terms with things… I didn't mean to make you feel like I didn't want you, God that is the complete opposite of what I want" He explained to me.

"Really?" I questioned.

"Why do you doubt me so much?" He asked.

"Because it's hard to believe that any man would want me after what happened" I replied.

"Oh you silly girl. I will always want you" He told me. Max pulled me into his arms, I laid my head down on his chest and he wrapped his arms protectively around me. He rubbed his hands up and down my arms to soothe me and placed a kiss on the top of my head as I continued to cry and let everything out "There is nothing in this world that would stop me wanting you and you better remember that" He told me softly.

When I opened my eyes again Max was sound asleep still and the clock told me it was 13:23. I needed to pee but I didn't want to move from the place I was, in Max's arms, it was my favourite place. When I was Max's arms I always felt safe and comfortable, I knew that as long as Max had his arms around me I would be safe and looked after. That's all I've ever wanted in a man. I might be a police officer in Sun Hill and I have seen some things that most do not see in a life time but I need a man who can look after me. I need a man that I can vent to and someone to tell me that everything will be ok, it will sort itself out and I'm doing my best. I found that in Max.

Max stirred and I looked up at his face to see his eyes flutter open, we smiled softly at each other and then he placed a kiss on the top of my head "You ok?" He asked me and I nodded against his chest "We're going to have to go down to the station in a little while, is that ok?" He questioned.

"I need to pee" I replied.

Once I was in the bathroom I closed and locked the door behind me so Max couldn't come in to question me. I really did not want to go down to the station and see everyone giving me them sympathetic looks, listen to people telling me how sorry they are and how badly they want my attacker captured. Everything was still too raw and honestly I'm still processing, it's too soon for me to be doing that. I don't even know what I have to go down there for. Jo recorded my statement so I wouldn't have to repeat it, the hospital took photographs of my injuries and DNA samples. What else do they want from me? I can't tell them anything else, they know everything that I know about him… I can't go down there today.

I finished my business in the bathroom and walked out into the bedroom to see Max had changed his clothes and was pretty much ready to go "I'm not going" I stated and sat down in the end of the bed.

"Millie you have to go, Jo wants to speak to you" He told me.

"She knows where I am" I replied.

"Millie. I know you don't want to go but it's just something that needs to be done" He said.

"What needs to be done?" I questioned getting angry "They have the DNA swaps, photos of my injuries and a recorded statement! I don't have anything else to give them!" I exclaimed.

"As well as the recorded statement, we need a written one. You know that" He told me.

"Then tell her to come here! I am not walking into that station and have everyone look at me like I am some charity case" I explained to him.

"I know the station is one of the last places that you want to be but we'll be in and out within half an hour. If you don't wanna see anyone then fine, we'll get Smithy to clear the back entrance and custody then put you in an interview room. No one will see you, talk to you or touch you" He said to him.

"Please don't make me go" I pleaded.

"Ok… we'll leave it for today" He replied with a sigh "I better call Jo" He added and stepped onto the balcony closing the doors behind him.

I wasn't trying to be difficult but I don't think he fully understands how hard it is for me right now, the last place I want to be is at work. Even if Smithy cleared the custody suite and I sneak into an interview room, I know there will be someone in the observation room listening in to what happened to me. I don't want people at work to know how weak I was and how affected I really was, I was supposed to be a police officer on the streets of Sun Hill.

The door to the balcony opened and Max came back in "I'm sorry Max, I'm not trying to be difficult it's just too raw for me right now" I told him as he came and sat down next to me on the bed.

"It's ok. Jo said she will speak to Mel an Sally and get statements off them and descriptions, she will also get them to look through WADS to see if they can pick him out. We have everyone in Sun Hill working their hardest to look for this… scum. We'll get him soon enough" He told me.

"Can I borrow your phone? I need to call my sister and parents, let them know what's happened" I told him and he rolled his eyes. My sister Rachel and her husband David don't like Max very much, they think he is stubborn, harsh and married to the job. They don't see the side to Max that I do. I know when Rachel hears that Max was at work when it happened she will freak out and blame Max for what happened "Max, I really cannot be dealing with your feud with Rachel and David right now. Please try and at least act civil please" I pleaded with him.

"I'm sorry but I am going to get the blame for everything that happened. I feel bad enough as it is without them two adding their thoughts to it. I know I need to be home more and I should have come and picked you up from the pub myself so I knew you were ok" He said to me.

Max blames himself like I knew he would but how could he know what was going to happen? It's not like he wasn't home because he was out with his mates getting drunk somewhere or something, he was at work. I don't blame him at all for any of this and I hope no one else does either but I know what Rachel and David are like, they are very judgmental people "I'll speak to her" I stated.

"Hello?" Rachel's voice said as she answered the phone.

"Hey… it's Millie" I replied.

"What's wrong? You sound like you've been crying?" She questioned and before I could reply she jumped in "What has Max done to you?" She asked.

"He hasn't done anything" I told her "Last night someone broke in to the house and he… attacked me" I said.

"What do you mean 'attacked'?" She questioned.

"Sexually" I stated.

"Oh my God!" She exclaimed "Where was Max when this happened?" She asked me sounding angry.

"He was at work" I told her and I heard Max scoff next to me "Please Rachel, I can't be dealing with the issues you have with Max right now "Look I have just been… Can you all try and at least pretend to be civil with each other for my sake right now? Things are hard right now and I need all the people I love most around me" I told her and I hoped Max was listening to what I was saying.

"Ok I'm sorry, I will behave myself" She told me.

Me and Rachel stayed on the phone for a little while longer and she promised she would come and see me in the next couple of days. I know it is a little difficult for her to come and see me as she lives in Devon and she has her life with her husband. Eventually I managed to her off the phone after I promised her that I would be ok and Max was taking care of me and the whole of Sun Hill were on the case.

After that I called my mum and explained what had happened and same as with Rachel I told her that I was ok and Max was taking care of me. My dad used to be a police officer, a DCI in fact, she is aware of the hours we have and she didn't blame Max for anything. She spoke to him on the phone and they had a lengthy conversation and he seemed to relax as he spoke to her.

"You fell better?" I asked him as he put his phone down.

"Yeah I'm fine thanks, I should be asking you how you are" He said.

"Max you don't need to worry about me, I promise I will eventually be ok. I just need to let everything sink in and I think it will be better when we finally get him put away" I said to Max,

"I'm doing everything that I can to get this guy" He told me.

"I know you are and I can't thank you or everyone else enough for doing all of this for me" I said.

Me and Max laid down in bed together, I cuddled into him and he wrapped his arms around me so tight I thought he was going to stop my blood circulation but I didn't care. I just wanted to be in his arms and feel protected and safe, I had never felt safer then when I was in Max's arms. He placed a kiss on the top of my head and the two of us just laid there in silence for a while until I drifted off to sleep.

 **Max  
** The door knocked and Millie was still asleep. I didn't want to wake her as she needed to rest as much as she could right now. I slipped out of bed without waking her and opened the door but there was no one there but there was an envelope laying on the floor addressed to Millie. I picked it up and it felt like there was nothing in there, I put it down on the table and decided I would wait until Millie woke up and then tell her about the letter.

Millie woke up as I got back into bed and turned to face me "You ok?" She asked.

"Yeah there was a knock on the door, I opened it and there was no one there but that" I told her and indicated to the envelope.

She sat up in bed and opened the envelope, a single piece of paper fell out and she started reading whatever was on it;

 _Dear PC Millie Brown_

 _When I saw you bending over that pool table I couldn't believe the ass you had on you. Then you tried acting big in front of your friends and making jokes on my behalf, the only way I could take you down a notch and realise what a mistake you made by turning me down was to show you what you're missing. I've been doing a little research on you and I found out that your boyfriend is DS Max Carter, I bet he's really pissed about what happened between us. Is he repulsed by the fact that you had sex with another man in his house? I came back the next morning to see if you wanted to change your mind but I saw police sitting outside, I spoke to one of the policeman there and he said someone had been attacked. I hope you don't think I attacked you, I was just treating you a lesson and don't for one second think that I will not be returning. You and your boyfriend keep an eye out for me because I'm coming back for round two… maybe round three, four, five… depends how I feel._

 _See you soon._


	4. Chapter 4

**Millie**  
For mine and Max's safety we had been put in a safe house that had guards 24/7 and of course Max was acting like my own personal bodyguard. We were moved here a week ago and things have been quiet which makes me worry, I think this guy is planning something big and I'm not sure I like the idea of that. Max was hoping that as he had gone quiet it meant I was going to be left alone but we both know that's not the case and it had him on edge too. I say on edge but I think if this guy isn't caught soon then Max is really going to have a mental breakdown, he gets twitchy and nervous every time he hears a noise outside or if someone comes to the door. He questions everyone that knocks and I swear the guy who knocked yesterday left wetting himself after Max had interrogated him… I know why he's like this but I thought he was meant to look after me and try to make me feel better.

Everyone from work had come round at some point to see how I was and they all brought gifts and cards which was sweet of them. The girls felt guilty that they hadn't forced me into a cab. As I kept telling them, there was nothing they could've done… no one could have predicted this. I don't blame them at all for what happened, I know Max does slightly but that's just the way he is. Until this guy is arrested then Max will blame everyone he can including himself… he still keeps going on about how he should've been home earlier.

Although I liked how everyone had been caring for me and working hard to get this creep off the streets, I wasn't used to having this much attention and I wasn't sure I like it that much. There was always someone fussing over me acting like I had lost the use of my arms and legs… especially Max and it was starting to drive me insane. I know they all mean well but I like having my space, I'm a very independent person and right now all I feel like is child. I'm surprised Max doesn't make me hold his hand when we cross the road! I know I sound stupid and I should be grateful that all of these people care about me but I jut need some space.

Speaking of someone always being around… Max came out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist and he was looking gorgeous if I do say so myself. He came and sat down on the sofa next to me "You OK?" He asked me.

"Yes Max I'm fine. I managed to survive whilst you had a shower" I said getting up from the sofa and going into the kitchen where I started making coffee. I heard Max walking behind me and follow me into the kitchen, I turned around leaning against the counter and crossed my arms over my chest "What?" I asked him irritated.

"Nothing… I… what's the matter?" He questioned looking confused.

"There's nothing the matter! I am just getting some coffee" I told him and faced away from him leaning my hands on the counter. I took a deep breath before I turned back to face him "I'm sorry but I just cannot deal with being asked how I am all the time. If there's something wrong then I will tell you, you don't need to ask me every five minutes and if I wanna make some coffee I can do it myself" I stated.

"I'm sorry" He said deflated and walked away from me, I heard the bedroom door close a few seconds later. He didn't slam it or anything but he closed it hard enough just for me to hear it.

I didn't mean to upset him but I'm a big girl. I am trying to come to terms with everything that's happening but I'm not been given time to think on my own, he's just there in my face all the time and I need space for a little while. What I hate most about what's happened to me is the fact that it's destroying things between me and Max. Max doesn't know how to make me feel better and he's not sure what to say to me and when he looks at me… I know he feels pity. He's doing his best and I love him so much for everything he's done but he needs to understand I need breathing space.

The bedroom door opened and Max came out fully dressed "I'm gonna go down to the station for a little while. Mel is out the back with Tony and Nate is out the front with Ben. The radio is in the bedroom if you need them at any point, the bedroom window and bathroom window is locked" He explained to me and went ahead checking the other windows and the back door, once he done that he made sure he had his phone, keys and wallet "I shouldn't be too long" He said before leaving.

After a couple of minutes I flopped down onto the sofa and I just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. I was such a stupid silly girl! All he's doing is trying to protect me and get this guy away from me and instead of thanking him like I should I tell him I need space from him. Now I have some space from Max I want him back, I don't want him to go anywhere… I want him to come back right now so that I can apologise and we can sort things out like we always do.

I felt a tear slip down my cheek so I moved my hand up to it so I could wipe it away but as soon as I did more of them feel, it was uncontrollable. I tried wiping them all away to stop them but it was just like a river… they were coming down and I couldn't stop them. Just as I let out a sob the front door knocked and of course I really wish Max was here right now but he wasn't

When I got to the door I looked through the peep hole to see Nate standing on the other side of the door. I sighed and opened it and he came in, I closed the door and as soon as I turned around Nate saw I was crying "Millie what's the matter?" He asked me panicked.

"Nothing… I'm being silly" I told him.

"C'mon you can tell me… what's the matter?" He asked again.

"Me and Max had a fight. Well I can't really call it a fight, I had a go at him and he went to the station" I said to him as we made our way over to the sofa "Sorry but aren't you supposed to be in the car?" I asked him.

"I erm… needed to use the facilities if that's OK" He replied.

"Oh...sure" I said and he went.

When he came back I was still sitting on the sofa. Nate came and sat next to me "Thanks" He said and we smiled softly at each other "Look I know that Max isn't the easiest person to be around at any time of day but… he's been working really hard trying to find this nutter and I don't think he'll give up until he does. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty about having a go at him… everyone wants to have a go at him… but just remember whatever it is that he's done, he's doing it for you" Nate explained.

"I just don't know what to do anymore Nate, he is just there constantly all the time, watching what I'm doing. It's like he's waiting for me to crack and I can't handle it, I needed some space but now he's gone I want him to come back" I told him and I know I probably sounded crazy.

"It's not the easiest of situations to be in but if any couple can make it through then it will be you and Max, your relationship is border line epic" He said and it made me giggle "I hear girls round the station talking about how jealous they are that you have found someone like Max… they all know that he's a bit tough at work but everyone can tell he's a good man to you" He explained.

"Thanks" I replied to him and Max placed a hand on my shoulder comforting me "You better get back to the car before Ben goes crazy sitting there on his own" I told him and he nodded.

"Give me a shout if you need anything" He said and I promised him I would.

 **Max**  
I walked into the station and went straight up to CID where I saw Jo and Mickey rushing around calling people and doing all sorts of paperwork. It was clear to me that something was going down and I wanted to be in on it, if they were making a move on this creep then I wanted to be involved in it "What's going on?" I asked Jo as she sat down at her desk and started typing away on her computer.

"We think we have a possible location on him and we're going on a raid" She told me.

"What information have we got on him so far?" I asked.

"Well we know his name is Derek Thompson and he is 24 years old. He was arrested and questioned in connection to a sexual assault in Brighton six months ago. He told the police there that she had been throwing herself at him all night and he just took the next step, somehow he managed to get away with it. He also has previous for drug abuse including; cocaine, heroin and cannabis" She explained to me.

"Got an address?" I asked.

"Yes we do and no you are not coming with us, you're too close to this case and you know you're not allowed to be involved in the investigation… don't start acting all stubborn and compromise this for Millie, the sooner we get him the sooner this is all over" She told me.

"I can't just sit back and do nothing. Millie is over there going crazy" I stated before storming out of the office and going down to the canteen.

I got myself a coffee and saw down in the corner away from everyone, I didn't really feel like talking. Someone walked up to the table and sat down opposite me, I looked up and saw Jo sitting there, she was looking at me as if she was studying me "What's going on Max?" She asked me.

"I don't know what else I can do to help her, I want to be there for her and make sure she's ok but this morning she lashed out at me. She told me she wanted space so I came here. I know she probably does want time on her own but at the same time I love her and I wanna do what I can to make sure she's ok" I explained to her.

"Max she's just been raped, having someone hovering around her all the time is probably going to make her feel a little claustrophobic. She needs her time to let everything sink in and get over it in her own way. I know that Millie is so in love with you and I bet she feels bad for lashing out at you, she knows it's not your fault, she knows you love her and you're doing everything you can for her" She told me.

"What do I do?" I asked her.

"I can't answer that for you but I think you should go home to her and make things right" She said.

"Ok" I replied.

"I'll give you call when we have Thompson in custody, I'll keep you up to date" She told me.

I thanked Jo for her advice before leaving the station and heading home to Millie, I was going to apologise for hovering around her, I understand she needs her space but at the same time I want to protect her. Everything was such a mess right now and I wish so much that I could turn back time and make sure I came home early that night, we might not be in the position if I had. I need to sort out my work hours but before I do any of that I need to go home to Millie.

* * *

 **Hello people! Thank you for reading and all the support so far. Please can you favourite and follow me and the story. Can you please review as well, I want to know what you guys think!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Millie**  
It's been three weeks since my attack. The man that attacked me, Derek Thompson has been arrested, questioned and charged for my attack. He's in remand at the moment after being refused bail on the terms of my safety. A court date hasn't been set yet but there is so much evidence against him, Jo even has statements from Thompson's friends and they state that Thompson bragged about what he did to me the next day. As wonderful and promising all of that sounds there are still a lot of problems going on right now, especially between me and Max. he was still blaming himself for what happened and he's pissed that he wasn't involved in the investigation. He's been trying to sell the house so that I don't need to go back there so at the moment we are living in a rented flat.

We were taken off witness protection as it was believed there is no longer any threat to me or Max with Thompson away, he was a lone ranger, from what the police have heard from his friends and family he is a bit of a nutter and they don't approve of the things he's done. His friends and family have washed their hands of him and a couple of his friends have agreed to stand up in court and testify on my behalf. I just wanted all of this to be over so things can go back to normal, I hate sitting coped up in here all day.

Work have told me that they don't want me be back just yet as the trial is still on going and they don't want anything to compromise the case, for example, me arresting someone that may have connections to Thompson. I was to stay at home on full pay until the trial was over and done with. Max was back at work as normal but he isn't doing as many hours as before. I also had someone calling in every day just to make sure I was ok, usually it was whoever was patrolling the area with the area car. They normally call in and I think that is down to Max, he wants to know that I'm ok here on my own.

Everything has gotten so complicated and I want it to be over. I want things to go back to the way they were with me and Max, I want him to be able to touch me without questioning it, I want him to look me in the eyes with a genuine smile on his face, I want him to wrap his arms around me at night and not sleep with his back to me. I know this is a lot for him to take on as well, Max is not used to emotional situations and now he is in one of the most emotional and complicated emotional relationships ever. I think he may be losing interest in me after everything that happened, I'm damaged goods now.

Don't get my wrong he doesn't ignore me or anything but if we are standing really close together he will take a step away. It's really bugging me and I don't want to say anything because I don't want to sound like I am whining, he has a lot to do right now and is probably just tired or frustrated or possibly both. He has been working day and night at work, selling the house and finding us somewhere more permanent to live but I still think he's going off me. I want the old Max back not this shell that I life with, if he doesn't come back soon I am going to scream.

I know it will take a while for the both of us to adjust to everything that's happened but I need him to cuddle me at night, tell me he loves me and everything will be ok. I need to fall asleep in his protective arms and wake him to him telling me some good news. Right now none of that was happening, I was lucky if I got a kiss on t he cheek before he leaves for work in the morning and a kiss on the cheek goodnight when he decides he is going to go to bed.

Speak of the devil… Max came into the living room dressed in his suit ready for work. He smiled softly at me as I sat on the sofa sipping on a cup of coffee, he didn't speak a word to me as he made some breakfast and some coffee for himself. I could hear him pottering around the kitchen doing what he needed to do. I wanted to go and confront him and demand answers, why was he not showing me love? Why was he not cuddling me? Why was he not kissing me? I didn't want to argue with him this time in the morning but I wanted to know.

"I'm going, I'll call you later" He said

"Max wait a minute!" I called out as he opened the front door.

He closed the front door and came into the living room "Is there something wrong?" He asked me.

"I don't know… is there?" I questioned.

"What are you on about?" He replied.

"Am I damaged goods to you?" I asked.

"Millie I'm confused, is there a problem or not? I don't know what you want from me" He said.

"When was the last time you kissed me? Hugged me? Showed me affection?" I questioned.

"Millie I don't have time for this, I have to go to work" He stated.

"Then make the time!" I shouted.

I didn't mean to shout at him but I am just so frustrated, annoyed, pissed off and tired of him avoiding me and making excuses up all the time. I just want to know where I stand with him, did he want to leave me now but didn't have the balls to say it because of the situation? It feels like he's pushing me further and further away and he's waiting for me to end the relationship so he doesn't have to deal with the guilt of it. Maybe I'm wrong and being paranoid but he doesn't exactly make me feel any different, I just feel like I am a weight on his shoulders he would rather drop.

He sighed and took his jacket off "Millie I don't know how many times I have to tell you I love you or how many more times you want me to hear that what happened to you doesn't change anything-" He started but I cut him off mid sentence.

"It changes everything" I stated.

"Not between us. I still feel for you what I did before any of this shit happened" He said "If I get to close to you then you tell me I'm being to clingy and to give you space, if I give the space like I am now I'm still in the wrong… what do you want me to do Millie?" He asked.

"I want you to stop treating me like a victim" I told him.

"I have never had to deal with anything like this before and I don't know what to do. I don't know if you want me to touch you or if you just want me to leave you alone. You don't talk to me, you just expect me to know everything… I'm not a mind reader" He explained to me.

"I have never had to deal with this either Max and sometimes I feel like I'm going through it alone. You go to work and bury yourself in paperwork whilst I'm stuck in this place on my own all day, sitting here letting the memories of that night go round and round in my head. You're here physically but sometimes it's like you're head is in a whole different place and I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know if you're pushing me away until I end things so you don't have to feel guilty or if you just don't want me anymore" I said to him and as I spoke every word a tear fell down my face.

"Millie I didn't mean to make you feel like that I just don't know what to do, I don't want you to feel like I'm hovering you and I certainly don't want you feeling like you do now… that's the last thing that I want. All I want is for you to be happy and safe, that's all I've ever wanted for you. Sometimes I don't know if I'm the right person to do that but you tell me I am" He told me.

"Please stop avoiding me" I pleaded with him.

"I don't mean to" He said as he walked over to me, he grabbed me and pulled me into his arms. He held me so tight against him I felt like I couldn't breathe but I didn't want him to let go. I buried my head as deep into his chest as I could and I wrapped my arms around him too, we were holding onto each other like a lifeline "I'm sorry" He whispered and placed a kiss on the top of my head "I'll be better" He promised.

"I'm sorry too. I've been giving you mixed signals but it's not the easiest of situations" I told him.

We did eventually pull away from the embrace and Max called into work to tell them he wouldn't be in today because me and him had to sort some things out. They understood and told him to take as much time as he needed, they all knew things were hard on us right now with everything going on. I am so thankful I have such an amazing job and very understanding bosses who go out of their way to make me feel more comfortable.

"How about we do something today" Max suggested.

"Like what?" I asked.

"I dunno. What do you wanna do?" He asked.

"I don't know, what is there to do on a Wednesday?" I questioned.

"How about we make a day of it? Go shopping, bowling then dinner? We will get a day to ourselves and a day out of here" He suggested.

"There will be a lot of people there, I don't know if I'm ready for that" I told him.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"It sounds stupid but… it feels like people can see that I'm _that_ sort of victim… it feels like a sign above my head or something" I said to him.

"Ok well if you don't feel up to it, we can do something else" He said.

"Like what?" I questioned.

"Get a dog" He randomly replied.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"Why not? I will feel a lot better when I'm not here knowing that there is a dog here, ready to hurt someone that will hurt you… something to protect you" He told me.

"You can't get a dog just so it can become my personal bodyguard" I stated.

"Actually… I was going to suggest getting one… before… but then everything happened and I decided to leave it for a while" He explained.

"You wanna get a dog?" I questioned.

"Yeah" He replied.

"Then let's go" I said.

Me and Max decided we wanted to rescue a dog, of course if I had my way we would take them all home. Some of them were so hyper and excited to see us and it was as if they were in competition with each other, they knew that we were looking to take one home and they all wanted to be that one. There was nothing wrong with any of them, they were all perfectly good dogs that I would take home with me but there was one dog that caught my eye, Ozzy the German Shepherd.

When we first got to the dog rehoming place the lady showed us around and all the dogs were doing all they could to prove they should be the one we take. However I saw Ozzy and I fell in love with him, he was sitting on the floor of his cage just watching the people go by. We asked the lady about Ozzy and she told us that he was rescued when he was 7 months old because his old owners were mistreating him. He had been taken home before but brought back because the owners didn't realise how much work they needed and couldn't cope.

Max went over to Ozzy's cage and called him. He instantly got up and sat in front of Max, the lady opened the door for us to go in with Ozzy and see how he reacted to us. I sat on the floor with him and he sniffed us, checking us out then he loved us as much as we loved him. Me and Max stroked him, gave him some treats and he showed us some of his tricks. He was perfect for us.

He was only 1 year and 2 months old at the minute but he was fully house trained, trained on a lead, good with other dogs and children, very obedient and would not go to sleep without his blue bear. He was just so amazing and I wanted him, Max loved him and the two of them got on really well so we told the lady we would take him. She spoke to us about his care needs and we understood he would need a lot of walking and exercising and that was ok with us, one of us would be at home to take him as we do different shifts.

We paid the deposit for Ozzy so no one else could come and take him, we were told our home had to be evaluated to make sure it was good enough for Ozzy and then we could take him home. Someone was going to come out tomorrow to check our home and if they were happy with everything we can collect him tomorrow afternoon!

After paying the deposit and sorting out times for the visit tomorrow we went to pets at home and brought everything we would need for Ozzy. We didn't want him to have his collar from the home or anything, we wanted him to have his new stuff to signify his new life. We got him a new bed, collar, lead, grooming stuff, toys, food (recommended by the lady at the home) and bowls for his food and water. I couldn't help myself, I got a dog tag and I asked them to personalise it for us, it's going to have Ozzy's name on the front and our contact details on the back. It would be ready to pick up in a couple of days.

We everything we needed, apart from Ozzy.


	6. Chapter 6

**Millie**  
Ozzy had been with us for three weeks now and all three of us were getting into a routine again after everything that happened. Max had gone back to work full time, I had gone back to work but at the moment I was just doing desk duties and other light duties. Smithy didn't want to overwhelm me with everything so I am being eased back into my work. Ozzy was amazing and fit in amazingly well with me and Max, he got on well with both of us well and he even had his bed just outside our bedroom door. He was walked three times a day, once by more before I went to work, once before Max went to work and when Max came home in the evening. If me and Max were on the sofa Ozzy would have to sit with us with his head on Max's lap. It was like we had our own little family and I wouldn't have it any other way, he was the perfect little addition.

Speaking of Ozzy he was staring at me as I sat at the table and ate my toast. He had his breakfast already and he had a treat, he wasn't hungry but I understand. With Ozzy being a rescue dog he liked to eat a lot, he didn't want another dog or person eating food that could be his. I broke a bit of my toast off and gave it to him "That's your lot" I told him as I ate the last bit "Shall we go wake Max up?" I asked Ozzy and his talk started wagging "Go on then" I said and indicated to the bedroom. Ozzy ran towards the room and jumped straight on the bed and nudging Max "Good boy Ozzy" I said as Max started to wake up.

"Ok Ozzy I'm awake" Max said and sat up in bed, Ozzy jumped off the bed and sat down on the floor beside Max and wagging his tail excitedly "Good morning Ozzy" He said and stroked him "Good morning Millie" He said and I leaned over to give him a kiss, Ozzy left the bedroom, probably to go and sit in front of the TV. He is obsessed with it "What time do you start?" Max asked me.

"An hour. Ozzy's been walked and fed" I told him "What about you? Are you on an early or a late shift?" I asked as I sat on the edge of the bed next to him.

"Late. I start at lunchtime and finish at around nine or ten, depending on what's in store today" He replied.

"Well I'm hoping to be home by 6ish so I will take Ozzy for a walk later and do his dinner and everything" I told him "I tell you what, I cannot wait to go back to work properly, go out on the beat and do everything I used to" I said to him and he gave me a small smile "I don't want to be treated like a victim anymore… I want to be treated like a copper in Sun Hill" I added.

"I know you're bored but Smithy is only doing what he thinks is best. He doesn't want to put you out there and you see or hear something that will panic you or scare you. All he wants to do is make sure that you're ok, if it was up to me then you wouldn't be back yet… it hasn't been long since it happened" He said and grabbed my hand "Even though you're in the station I'm still worried about you… I know you're ok and your buddies won't let anything happen to you but the worry never goes" He told me.

"I know why Smithy is doing it and I'm grateful that I have a boss who cares so much but at the same time I want to try and move on from it, see if we can go back to normal or try and make a new normal… I hate being stuck in the station all day" I told him. Before Max could reply Ozzy barked a couple of times from the front door. I looked at the clock and saw that it was time for the postman, when the postman puts letters through the letter box it makes a noise and Ozzy doesn't like it. He barks at it every single day "You get dressed and I'll see to the post" I said and kissed him again before making my way to the front door.

Sure enough on the floor letters had been posted. I picked them up and started looking through them and then I saw one that was handwritten and addressed to me, I put the others down on the coffee table and started to open the letter. I was always curious when a hand written letter came through the door "Who's it from?" Max asked as he pulled his jumper over his head.

"I dunno. I was just opening it" I told him.

 _Dear PC Millie Brown,_

 _Isn_ _'_ _t it funny how I can find you even though I_ _'_ _m inside and you moved out of your old house and the hotel you had been staying in. When you have friends in high places like I do then you can find out anything, absolutely anything. I hear you have stepped up security and got yourself a dog, Ozzy, I believe it_ _'_ _s called. Do you really think a dog will get in my way? If I want you bad enough PC Millie Brown then I will have you, nothing and no one can get in my way. I want you to know that you will be seeing me and hearing from me a lot sooner then you think, you think you got rid of me but let me tell you something_ _…_ _this is only the beginning._

 _See you soon._

 _D_

Max was reading the letter over my shoulder and as soon as he did I could tell he was pissed. He told me to put the envelope and letter on the table and not to touch anything. He called Jo who said she was on her way round with Mickey to find out what's going on. I can't believe this is all happening again. I thought we had seen the last of him when he got sent down for what he did to me, why is he still doing this? What does he mean I will be seeing him and hearing from him sooner then I thought? Was he getting out early? Did he have a plan to escape? If he did get out was he gonna come after me? Ozzy? Max? Was he doing this to scare me?

I started crying and I could hear Max on the phone shouting at someone, probably someone from the prison who let the letter get send in the first place. Ozzy came and jumped up on the sofa, he laid his head on my lap and was licking my hand. He was trying to make me feel better. I stroked him and looked up when I heard Max walking towards me "I've spoken to Smithy and he's gonna put guards outside the building at the front and back, I'm going to stay here with you and Ozzy and you are not allowed back to work until this is all sorted out" He explained to me.

When Max got off the phone he came and sat with me and Ozzy on the sofa, he put his arms around me, placed kisses on the top of my head and kept telling me that everything was going to be ok. I knew it wouldn't be ok until Derek Thompson is six feet under ground, he kept doing this to me just to prove that he can. Ozzy kept nudging me and Max so he could get some of the attention "I need a lie down" I stated and stood from the sofa "Ozzy" I called and he followed me into the bedroom.

I got into bed and under the covers, Ozzy jumped on the bed and laid down next to me. I stroked Ozzy as I sobbed and thought about everything that was going on right now. We were just starting to get things back to normal and then Derek wormed his way back in and he was putting me in this state once again, I hated him "Don't shut me out" Max said from the bottom of the bed.

"I'm not. I just want to sleep and forget" I replied without moving.

He walked round to the side of the bed and kneeled down by my side so he could face me "Don't let him ruin you, you are doing so well… please don't become this shell" He pleaded with me.

"Max I am so sick and tired of him and what he's doing to me. He's in prison and he's still making me feel like this. I don't think I will ever be happy again until he's dead" I told him.

"Don't say that" He replied.

"It's true" I stated.

"I am doing everything I can to stop him… I promise you" He told me.

"I know you are Max but the truth us, he's never going to stop… until he's dead" I replied.

Max obviously knew that it was just best to give me some time on my own. Although I was tired I couldn't sleep, Ozzy was snoring away and I felt jealous… I felt jealous of my dog, yes but only because he has no worries in the world. All he worries about is when we're going to feed him next or when he can jump into bed without Max telling him off, his life was simple and at the same time it was a great life. I was hoping that Derek would show up here one day, he thinks he will get past Ozzy then he can think again. If I tell Ozzy to get someone then he will… I just have to say the words and then Ozzy can be my hero and rid my life of the evil that is Derek Thompson.

After deciding that sleep was not coming I got out of bed, Ozzy didn't seem to notice, I took myself into the living room where I was surprised to see Jo and Terry. I hadn't even heard them arrive. They were bagging up the letter and speaking with Max about how I was, like I couldn't hear them. This was the worst part, have everyone tiptoe around me and ask how I was doing every 5 minutes "Hello" I said so they would all acknowledge my presence.

"Hi, we didn't wake you did we?" Jo asked.

"No you didn't" I replied.

"Don't you worry Millie, we have all of Sun Hill on this" Terry told me.

"It won't ever be over until he's dead" I stated "Which won't happen anytime soon, bad things don't happen to bad people… only good" I added.

"We can further arrest him for intimidating a witness. That will get him more years inside" Jo informed me.

"He's inside now and he can still do this, he can still track me down and torment me about what happened. He has friends on the outside that are obviously following me and Max around. Derek knows we have a dog and he knows he is called Ozzy. Every time we move he seems to know our new address… how would he know that if he didn't have someone following me?" I questioned.

"We're looking into that already. We're covering this and putting everything we have into stopping this for you. I know it may not seem like we're doing much to help you after everything that's happened since he has been arrested but we are trying our best" Terry explained.

"She understands that" Max interjected.

"You don't have to talk for me" I replied.

"Look we've got everything we need now. We'll get this analysed to see if anyone has touched it, we'll search Derek's cell, listen to his calls and question his visitors" Jo said.

When the door closed Max turned to look at me in shock, horror, confusion "What the hell was all that about? They are doing everything that they can to help you here. You know as well as I do that the station only has a certain budget and they can only do so much but they are pouring in everything for you. There was no need to be rude to them or make them feel like they aren't doing enough" He told me, I could tell from the tone of his voice that he was angry.

"Maybe I am just tired of everything and I don't care what happens anymore. If he wants to come after me then let him, I'm sick of looking over my shoulder every time I leave the apartment. I get scared when a window is open in case one of his friends come in. I am tired Max" I explained to him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Max  
** After Jo and Terry left and we had our words Millie went straight back to the bedroom and slammed the door behind her to tell me to keep out. I know this is hard for Millie but everyone is doing what they can for her, she didn't need to be rude to the people that were trying to help her, she knows that there is only so much we can do but they are doing a lot. Everyone wants this to end so Millie can go back to work and the two of us can start getting our lives back on track, through what happened things have been tough with her and I've been trying my best to be good to her. I want her to know that I am here for her and I love her but no matter what I do it's just not good enough.

We were making good process lately and now all of this has happened and we're back to square one. I wanted to go and talk to her properly but I know she needed her time to calm down and rest, it made me feel better that Ozzy was in there with her and she would have some sort of comfort. I wasn't really sure what I was supposed to do now though, I think I needed Millie more then she needed me. I needed her reassurance that I was doing ok and I needed to know that she needed me too, I needed her to tell me I was what she wanted and she happy being with me.

I understand Millie snapping at Jo and Terry earlier because she probably is tired of everything and she just wants it to be over. I want that as much as she does because then we can finally start rebuilding our lives and trying to get back to normal, I know things were never going to be as they were before but maybe we can get some of that back. Millie didn't deserve this and I wanted her to feel safe and happy, she hasn't felt like that in what seemed forever no matter what anyone says or does, I had tried my hardest but it obviously wasn't working. I really wanted my Millie back.

It had been a couple of hours since Terry and Jo had been here and she had a couple of hours to calm down so I decided to go in and see if she was ok. I opened the bedroom door and saw Millie fast asleep wrapped up in the covers as if they were protecting her from the outside world. Ozzy was at the bottom of the bed and looked up when I opened the door, I called him quietly and he left the bedroom. I approached her and placed a kiss on the top of her head before leaving the bedroom again, closing the door quietly behind me. Maybe after her sleep she will feel a little better and she maybe willing to talk to me about what was going on in her head.

After closing the bedroom door I went into the living room and saw Ozzy had already made himself comfortable on the sofa, I had never meet such a lazy dog in my life. I sat down next to him and put the TV on. I needed something to distract me but I wasn't paying much attention to anything that was going on, all I could think about was the case and I wanted to know how things were going so I grabbed my phone and called Jo "Jo it's Max. How are things moving along?" I asked her when she answered.

"Hi Max. Well we've re-arrested him for intimidation and we're trying to get the name of the person or persons following Millie around but he's keeping quiet. We've told him that he is facing a longer sentence but he doesn't seem to care… his solicitor is asking that he have a psychological evaluation" She explained to me.

"No… refuse it. If he as a psychological evaluation he can say he's mad and doesn't understand what he's doing and he'll spend the rest of his sentence in nice comfy cell with people waiting on him hand and foot. He's not mad, he's just an animal… he doesn't deserve special treatment" I said to her.

"I know Max but there's nothing we can do, the Guv as authorised for him to be taken to hospital so he can be evaluated. I know it's frustrating and it's not the news that you want to hear but I'm afraid that's all we have" She told me.

"Thanks anyway" I replied.

"How's Millie holding up?" She asked.

"Not great. After you left she went to the bedroom and slammed the door closed. I just went in to check on her but she's fast asleep… I don't really know what to do anymore Jo. We're we making progress and now we've gone back to square one" I told her.

"I'm sure things will get better, if you need anything then let me know" She said.

"Thanks Jo" I replied.

After my conversation with Jo I wasn't feeling much better about what was going on, I was hoping that Jo was going to give me good news and tell me how they arrested the person stalking Millie and it was all over. Instead I got the worst news I could have gotten from her, I was going to have to tell Millie what was going on but I would wait until she woke up to tell her. I don't think she would appreciate me waking her up to tell her bad news.

 **Millie  
** I woke up and instantly realised that Ozzy wasn't with me which means Max must have came in here at one point, I got out of bed and walked into the living room where Max was watching TV with Ozzy laying on the sofa next to him. He must have heard me because he turned around and greeted me with a small smile and turned back to the TV again, I remembered the way I spoke to him earlier and I felt guilty. He was doing his best, as were Jo and Terry. I threw it back in their faces and it wasn't very fair of me "Max I'm sorry" I stated.

He got up off the sofa and faced me "You don't have anything to be sorry for" He replied.

"I didn't mean to snap at you earlier or Terry and Jo. I'm just sick of all of this. I want it all to end so we can restart our lives and move on from this. I know I'm not the best person to be around and I'm sorry but I am trying… it's just hard with everything that's happened" I explained to him.

"I know and I'm sorry if I haven't been the best. It's a hard thing to come to terms with for everyone involved but I do want you to know how much I love you and I will support you 100%… no matter what happens" He told me and wrapped his arms around me, I hugged him back instantly. I had missed the warmth of his body and the feel of his arms around me. We pulled away from the hug and Max looked down at the floor for a second before looking up "I spoke to Jo when you were asleep and she told me that Derek is going to be evaluated for mental health" He said.

"So basically he will claim he's insane and go to a nice comfy jail where he gets everything he demands… great… just what every rapist deserves" I replied bitterly and sarcastically.

"I'm sorry it's not the news you wanted" He told me.

"It's not your fault" I said.

"Of course it's my fault!" He exclaimed "If I hadn't been working late that night I would have been home. I should have told you that you couldn't go to the pub and made sure you were at home all night. I should have been doing something… instead I was at work whilst someone broke into our home and… and raped you… I wasn't there when I should have been. It is my fault. I didn't protect you like I promised you I would" He explained and I wrapped my arms around him tightly.

"Max I don't blame you for anything that happened, I never have blamed you and I won't blame you ever. If you had told me I couldn't go out that night with my friends I would have gone anyway, there was nothing that could have changed what happened that night. If you were there or not, they could have got me on my way home. What happened is nothing we can change but you need to stop blaming yourself for it before you can move on" I told him as he rested his head on my shoulder.

Although I was the one that was assaulted I sometimes forget the effect something like this has on the people around me, I knew Max blamed himself for it but he needed to know that I didn't blame him and I never would. It's just one of them things that happened and there was nothing I could do about it, Max has been nothing but patient and good to me since it all happened and I can't thank him enough. I actually feel a little guilty for snapping at him and sometimes I don't treat him like I should but I think rape is a hard thing for everyone, not just the victim.

Max likes to think that he's the strong caveman but infact I think he is a little insecure and he needs me to tell him I love him, tell him I'm happy and tell him I'm proud of him. It's nice to hear Max tell me the same things but I don't need him to tell me because I already know… why doesn't he know I love him and I'm proud of him? What makes him so insecure?

"I love you so much and I am so grateful for everything you have done for me, you've been the best boyfriend ever. I can't thank you enough" I told him.

"You know I would do anything for you" He replied.

"Then why don't you know I feel the same way? Why do you need to hear me say it?" I questioned.

"Because I don't feel like I'm worthy of you Millie, you're amazing and you there are so many people out there who would be better suited to you and yet you chose me. The man that has the nickname 'Ice Man' from one of your friends" He told me.

"Well you're my ice man" I said and gave him a short sweet kiss.

* * *

 **Hi guys. This is a short chapter I know and I'm sorry but I thought that this was a good place to leave it. I have to admit I like this chapter because it sort of explains how both of them are feeling and how something as serious as rape effects not only the victim but everyone around them too. Hopefully you all liked this chapter!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Millie**

Two years it's been since my attack and things have drastically changed since that night. Max and I moved into a real house with Ozzy and we decided to make the tough decision to move out of London and away from everything that was a reminder. When I first mentioned leaving I didn't think Max would want to but he said he understood and he was ok with it, we couldn't leave the city life behind us so we moved to Birmingham. Max took a job as a DCI in one station and because I wanted to move up the ranks without anyone thinking my boyfriend helped me, I moved to another station. I am now working in CID and I specialise in sexual assault cases. My superiors are aware of my past but I tend to keep it quiet so I don't get all of the sympathetic looks or anything.

One of the reasons we left Sun Hill was because when I did finally go back to work properly I was being babied by everyone. Of course they just wanted to make sure that I was ok and everything but I wanted to move on with my life, everything was a reminder there. Derek had friends on the outside who would give me hassle on patrols and life was just hard, Max did his best with Jo and Terry to stop everything going on but they're not magicians and Max understood that there was only so much that he could do. I wasn't expecting him to wipe away all of my problems or become Superman, I just wanted his support and I've had that from day one.

Since moving to Birmingham we have had heard nothing from Derek so he either couldn't follow us this far or he has no friends up here. I don't care what the reason is but I'm glad I have been able to finally move on without getting letters from him. He was sent for psychiatric evaluation but he was deemed sane, meaning he didn't do what he did to me because he was crazy. He was just plain evil. He is still currently serving at Her Majesty's Pleasure in London far away from here. I did receive a letter from his mother just before I left for London and I was worried she was going to start the abuse as well but she didn't, it was the opposite.

In her letter she apologised over and over again for what happened. She told me she blamed herself for what happened and thought she had done something wrong in his upbringing. Nothing we know about Derek suggested he had a bad upbringing. I met with her and she brought some old school reports of his and showed me that he used to be a good kid but then he got into drugs and drink before going off the rails completely. She was so broken because of what her son had done, she refused to visit him in prison and face him and she has now also left Sun Hill.

A police officer getting raped is a big story and there was a lot of press coverage about it in the local papers, Derek's mother was getting a lot of hassle of people and was being called a bad mother. She wasn't a bad mother at all and she had always done her best with her son but there are just some people that are born evil and do things that they were never taught growing up. Derek has two younger brothers as well and they are amazing kids, they have amazing school reports and they keep away from drink and drugs because of Derek. They have also refused to visit him in prison.

When Derek's mother first came onto the scene Max said he blamed her because it was her son and she had brought him into the world. He met with her with me and after seeing her and speaking to her Max changed his mind and apologised to her for thinking it was her fault. She was a really lovely lady and now she was getting on with her life with her two sons. They moved to the other half of London and from what I've heard they've all been doing ok for themselves.

One thing I do miss about London is all of my friends. I don't get to see the girls very often as we all busy with work and such, I keep in contact with pretty much everyone from Sun Hill and they give me updates and I give them updates. Most of them are no longer PC's and have been moving up the ranks; Mel and Sally were now in CID and fully qualified DC's. Ben has moved to the child protection unit, Will has been become a DS. Nate has become a Sergeant would you believe. Roger has joined Tony and they are now both teaching recruits how to drive.

I looked over in the bed at Max who was still fast asleep, the bed covers were low on his hips and I smiled at his body. He's been going to the gym a lot lately and it's starting to show. He was looking good. I cuddled into him more and rested my head on his chest, he stirred so I stopped moving but it was too late. I had woken the beast.

"Morning" He said with a yawn.

"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you" I replied.

"It's ok" He said and wrapped his arms around me.

The two of us laid in bed together wrapped up in each other's arms. I really didn't mean to wake up Max up because he got in the early hours of this morning, he had been working on a tough case lately that has been taking up a lot of his time.

"What time you working today?" He asked me.

"Late shift. What about you?" I questioned.

He turned to look at the alarm clock "I should probably be getting up soon. It might be another late one" He told me.

"Well I won't be home until 6am at the earliest" I commented.

"I should be home before that but probably not much" He said.

"I'm gonna get up and feed Ozzy. You want me to make something whilst you have a shower?" I asked.

"No I'm ok thanks" He replied and we kissed.

I got out of bed and went downstairs to see Ozzy still fast asleep. He was laying on his back with his legs in the air and his body a little twisted, it didn't look very comfortable but Ozzy seemed content enough. I walked into the kitchen and washed both of his bowls out before refilling them, one with water and the other with food and put them down in their place. He'll wake up if he's hungry and come and eat.

I made myself some toast and coffee and sat at the table in the kitchen. I could hear Max upstairs getting ready for work again. He's been a lot of hours on this case and I really hope it pays off, we don't get to see each other much as we don't work at the same station anymore and we do different hours. We have tried to spend as much time together as possible but it is a little hard, somehow we make it work.

Max came down into the kitchen and Ozzy woke up, he came in the kitchen and greeted both of us before going over to his bowls.

"I'll probably be coming home about midnight for a couple of hours to make sure Ozzy is ok and walk him then go back" Max said.

"Ok. I'm here till lunchtime so he should be ok for a few hours on his own, I'll make sure I've left the dog flap open so he can get in and out if he needs to pee or poop" I replied.

"Sounds good" He said and kissed me "I better go"

"I'll see you tomorrow then" I told him and kissed him again.

This our routine every day and I wouldn't change it for the world. I love my life with Max and Ozzy, my boys. After everything that happened to me I learnt to appreciate life and of course me and Max went through some hard times but we have managed to come out on top and prove everyone wrong. They all thought we would have split up by now but we're doing great and we love each other, we would take a bullet for one another and Ozzy. I have my little family and there is nothing I would do to change it.

Me and Max have spoken about what we want in the future and we do want to get married and we do want to have children eventually. Right now isn't the right time, we're still settling into our lives here and I have just worked my way into where I want to be in my career right now. I don't want to be station bound or going on maternity leave. Max knows and understands, he said we will know when the time is right and when it is we'll grab it with both hands.

I think Ozzy, me and Max are going to be just fine.


End file.
